After having three kids, I thought I had this whole parenting thing figured out. Enter S. He threw a curve-ball into so much of what I had learned. I guess each of my kids have done that in their own way, but S stands out. It is not necessarily a bad thing. He has qualities that will make him an amazing adult, but they also make him a challenging toddler. S does not give up. To call him strong-willed does not really accurately describe him. I have tried the "strong-will" strategies on him, and they don't work. They say give the child options so they feel like they have some control. I give him two options in the boundaries I have set. He goes to a third option. Sometimes, it is in the boundaries, sometimes it is not. But he consistently chooses a third option. Once he sets his mind on something, it is almost impossible to change his mind. I can see him setting goals as an adult and reaching great heights, but as a toddler, his goals are not always healthy or practical. He is starting to learn that he has to follow certain rules, but he is not easily deterred. I am daunted by the task of teaching him how to know when to keep pursuing those goals and when to accept the authority God has put over him and lay aside his selfish desires. It's not easy.
Despite the difficulties, S makes me smile every day. Each morning, he greets me as if I have been away for months. I guess all of my kids do that to an extent, but his enthusiasm makes his morning "Mama!!!" that much more special. I am not naturally a morning person, so this is a big deal. He loves to be read to, he is learning to read himself, and loves doing his "writing," which consists of a tracing book with simple mazes.
Being the fourth isn't a problem for him since either makes his needs known or solves his own problems. It is not unusual for me to find him helping himself to a snack from the fridge or pantry (even if he has to use a bar stool to reach those chocolate chips on the high shelf). I appreciate his problem-solving mindset, but it does not always manifest itself in the healthiest of ways.
S is also learning to recognize love in difficult situations. When I have had to correct his behavior, he may scream and throw a fit at first, but many times, he will ultimately put his arms up for a reassuring hug. I am always there to hold him and let him know that I still love him even if I don't love his behavior. I do have to give him credit where it is due. He is always quick to say, "I'm sorry," and "I won't do it again." He also tells me "I want to be nice."
S also has a way of overpowering a room. His loud voice combined with his go-getter personality means he naturally draws a lot of attention to himself. I can see him as a compelling speaker or preacher. It will be interesting to see what God has in store for my little guy.
Oh, S, I love you so dearly. I know God made you the way you are for a purpose, and I would not change you for that very reason. When you look up at me with that sweet smile and those big, blue eyes, my heart melts. I love cuddling with you, baking with you, reading to you, teaching you, and being your Mama. You add so much our family. Life just wouldn't be the same without you.
He gives GREAT hugs too! And he's not afraid of singing LOUD, even if he doesn't know all the words! I miss him and am so glad he's a part of our family!
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